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Quote Of The Day

I used to have a great deal of respect for Andrew Sullivan. He's been stuck in a downward spiral for a couple of years now, devolving from an astute observer of world events to a reactionary, egomaniacal, and just-plain-mean self-promoter. But every once in an increasingly-great while, he takes a break from the ad hominem attacks on other writers and the embarassingly fawning emails from fans to say something interesting:

It seems to me that two facts are slowly emerging. The first is that Iran is increasingly serious about becoming a regional power, extending its reach into Lebanon and Iraq, and perhaps attempting a putsch in Syria - for a Shiite crescent. That Iran has sent some very serious missiles into Hezbollah's hands and is egging on Hezbollah for more provocation is yet another signal that Ahmadinejad really does want a regional conflagration, and will brandish his nukes belligerently whenever he gets his hands on them.

The second is that Iraq is in a de facto civil war. I don't know what else to call a hundred deaths a day, and 6,000 every two months. If you occupy a post-totalitarian, bitterly divided country and provide enough troops to adequately police, say, Texas, then you'll get the civil war Rumsfeld asked for and insisted on. And so, thanks to Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, the policy of democratization never had a chance of having a peaceful example in Iraq and has instead destabilized the region further - showing for good measure that Islamist parties who gain power democratically will use that power immediately to wage war. Their target will be Jews, and any Muslims who don't subscribe to their vision of the new Caliphate or whatever theocratic lunacy they are currently pursuing.

The scenarios are various. In an escalating civil war in Iraq, the Shiites will surely win - and massacres of Sunnis will become the daily headlines. What we do with our troops at that point will depend on events, but active involvement on one side or another would be a disaster. The potential for a wider Sunni-Shiite war across the Muslim Middle East is also now a real one - like the religious wars in Europe in the seventeenth century, only with far more destructive potential. Some might advise the U.S. to strike a deal with the beleaguered Assad regime in Syria, or put its weight behind the now-very-nervous predominantly Sunni autocracies as a counter-weight to Iran. I'm not so sure. Decades of backing such autocrats helped create the Islamist wave. Picking another losing side looks like short-sighted masochism to me.

I guess what I'm saying is that a period of appalling warfare may now be inevitable, and the only way for the region's tectonic plates to find a new and more stable platform. The real danger is a newly emboldened Islamist region with a chokehold on the world's oil. But that danger already exists, and has existed for a while. 9/11 was a symptom of something far wider - a struggle within the Muslim world for meaning and power in the modern world. We can pretend we can affect that outcome, but I fear we cannot. We can only watch and redouble our efforts to get energy from sources other than from a region on the verge of full-scale conflict.

The first paragraph is a definite "no shit, Dick Tracy" moment, and the second paragraph is still further evidence that Sullivan is simply incapable of passing up any opportunity to beat a very dead horse. But that last part about the recent history of the Middle East being fundamentally about an Arab/Muslim struggle for meaning and power in the modern world is very interesting and quite possibly spot-on. It's a shame we don't see more of this from Sullivan. He's been missed.

Now Playing

Nada Surf – Your Legs Grow
Iron + Wine – Woman King
Camera Obscura – If Looks Could Kill
Interpol – Specialist
Broken Social Scene – Hotel
Travis – How Many Hearts
Sufjan Stevens – Come On! Feel The Illinoise!
Rogue Wave – California
Pinback – Non Photo-Blue
The Rosebuds – Hold Hands And Fight
Jets Overhead – White Out
Broken Social Scene – It's All Gonna Break

Wow!

Amid all the predictable boilerplate diplomatic reactions to Israel's recent military activity in Lebannon came the following jaw-dropping response to the situation from Saudi Arabia (from Haaretz):

"A distinction must be made between legitimate resistance and uncalculated adventures undertaken by elements inside (Lebanon) and those behind them without recourse to the legal authorities and consulting and coordinating with Arab nations," a statement carried by the official news agency SPA said.

"These elements should bear the responsibility for their irresponsible actions and they alone should end the crisis they have created."

"[T]he crisis they have created." Wow! Just, wow! I can't remember ever having seen a comparably critical and unqualified smack-down of one Arab group to another. Absolutely fascinating. Could the tide be turning? Could a faint hint of civilized good sense be emerging in the Middle East? Who knows, but if there had been consistent statements like the above from sources like Saudi Arabia over the past 20 years, the Middle East today would surely be a much more peaceful and prosperous part of the world. Kudos to the Saudis for finally calling a spade a spade and recognizing that simply saying you're fighting Zionists doesn't make what you're doing any less stupid.

Quote Of The Day

Referring to Palestinians, from a Fark thread on Israel's response to the kidnappping of their soldiers:

Given the way so many of them think, if they get electrocuted by sticking a knife in the toaster, they'd think the solution is to get angry and stab the toaster harder.

Sums it up nicely, I think.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Geez, what can you say about this? Toyota builds a truck. That truck includes an airbag shutoff switch for the front passenger seat to prevent the airbag from deploying when a child is in the seat, since airbags can kill kids. The NHTSA has some obscure rule saying any seat with an airbag shutoff switch must also have a LATCH-style carseat anchor. Toyota misses this rule. The truck lacks the anchor. Toyota notices the issue and asks the NHTSA for an exemption. The NHTSA says no. Toyota has two choices: (A) recall 160,000 trucks and remove, disassemble, modify, reassembly and reinstall every single passenger seat, or (B) recall 160,000 trucks and disable the airbag shutoff switch. Captain Obvious hopes the choice is as clear to you as it is to Toyota.

The NHTSA rule presumably exists to make cars safer. Their hamfisted enforcment of the rule will make 160,000 vehicles significantly less safe. But at least it will increase the cost of your next Toyota. Ladies and gentlement, I give you government bureaucracy. Can I stop paying taxes now?

The World Cup Redux

So Italy won, which should have made me smile as they seemed to be the least evil of the semifinals options. But they played like pansies. What a pathetic group of flop-artist drama queens. France was by far the tougher, more skilled and more athletic team today. By the end of the game, I was strongly on their side despite my general contempt for all things French (excluding Amelie, of course). The Italians need to grow a pair and learn how to play like men.

Zidane putting that pathetic Italian on his ass with the headbutt was pure athletic poetry. It was great fun to see the crowd turn completely against the Italians after Zidane's expulsion in a very heartening stand against the one feature of international soccer that will forever prevent it from catching on in this country. The virtue of grim and determined toughness on the playing field is too deeply ingrained in our culture to ever accept anything resembling the game as played by Italy and Portugal. I was very impressed with the toughness and competitive honor shown by the Americans, the Czechs, and (today, at least) the French. Many of the other teams need to come to the 2010 World Cup dressed in pink.

At least Portugal lost. I can't imaging having any less respect for any group of athletes, anywhere, ever, than I have for Portugal. They were extraordinarily unworthy of World Cup success, given the nature of their approach to the game, and I was glad to seem them dispatched with typical German efficiency.

Update: Some very funny comments from the Fark thread on today's game:

At least he didn't use his hands since that's against the rules in soccer.

And:

That was the headbutt by which all others shall be judged in the future.

And this one, which isn't funny, but which I wholeheartedly endorse:

I applaud Zidane, it was a good move by a good player. Time was nearly up on the last game of his career, and there were plenty of other people on his team who can convert penalty kicks.

Zidane did what billions of soccer fans around the world have been craving to do all World Cup, that is give the italian pussies something to really cry about. I've never seen a more undeserving team win anything in any sport. They are an embarassment to soccer. My respect for Zidane for being a highly skilled and hard nosed player who never dives and doesn't tolerate any crap has reached a new high.

Now Playing

The Rosebuds – Hold Hands And Fight
Breaking Laces – Shack Up SOS
American Analog Set – Born On The Cusp
Sam Prekop – C + F
Robbers On High Street – Dig The Lightning
Sparta – Cataract
Milosh – My Life
Grand National – Talk Amongst Yourselves
Chad VanGaalen – After The Afterlife
Archer Prewitt – Go Away
Gomez – Notice
Mobius Band – Radio Coup
Snow Patrol – Open Your Eyes
Rainer Maria – Catastrophe
Death Cab For Cutie – Brothers On A Hotel Bed
Jets Overhead – Seems So Far

North Korea In Pictures

On the anticlimactic occasion of North Korea's relentlessly hyped but spectacularly unsuccessful ballistic missile test, here's a fascinating collection of tourist photographs with commentary from a Russian who visited the hermit kingdom recently (via Powerline).

The striking thing about all of the photographs I've ever seen of North Korea is the oppressive sense of joylessness they seem to document. The consistent lack of any sign of color, vibrancy, or dynamism. Its empty streets; its cold, monolithic architecture; the blank looks on so many of the faces. It all seems to have been painted with such a dull, miserable palette.

In the reader comments that accompany the photos there is some back-and-forth on whether North Korea is the worst place on Earth to live, with examples given of places that are possibly worse: the Middle East with its lack of religious and cultural freedom, Africa with its civil war and poverty, etc.

I'm not sure where I'd least want to live. Certainly, parts of Africa with their many immediate threats to life and limb are decidedly unappealing. But there is something peculiarly unsettling about the thought of life in North Korea. Whereas parts of Africa might kill you outright, North Korea seems like it might kill only your soul, leaving your body to manage alone as best it can.

The World Cup

With the matchup for the World Cup finals set, the quote of the day comes from James Robbins in the Corner:

France vs. Italy for the World Cup final? Between all the switching sides and giving up, how will they finish the match?

Once the European-only semifinals matchups were finalized, I stopped really caring. My only semifinals-related consolation comes from the elimination of Portugal. Some teams are diving, acting, whining pussies; some are aggressive, brutish thugs. Portugal somehow discovered the secret to being both simulaneously. I'm thrilled they're out. I guess I'm now stuck in the joyless position of having to pull for Italy given the fact that they're the only team remaining that isn't French.

On Being The Father Of Daughters

The quote of the day, from Bruce Willis (via Fark):

Bruce Willis has come up with a response to the potential boyfriends of his daughters: "I want you to return them in the same condition they left the house. I'd hate to have to beat you to death."

I'm going to use that one. And an even better one from the related thread:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Speaking Of Hardcore Porn And Sex Toys...

From It Is A Numeric Life:

It is generally believed that men are more aroused by erotic images than women, but according to a recent study, it turned out, women have responses as strong as those seen in men. Erotic images elicited women neuron firing within 160 milliseconds—about 20% faster than occurred with any of the other pictures.

Sluts.

From The "No Shit, Dick Tracy" Files

From The Picayune Item in lovely Picayune, Mississippi comes this little gem, wherein "Nonviolent in the Midwest" writes in to the local advice columnist complaining about her children playing with toy guns when visiting the home of a playmate. The advise columnist offers the following too-polite slap with the idiot stick:

Playing with toy guns does not necessarily make your child more violent, or more likely to use real guns. What matters is your attitude toward such play, because your children will take their cues from you. Explain to Henry and Thomas the harm real guns can do and why you don’t like them to play with such toys. (This won't, of course, stop creative children from making guns out of paper, Legos or slices of cheese. Good luck, Mom.)

The anti-toy-gun jihadists irritate me every bit as much the hall monitor journalists discussed below, and for the same reasons. I happen to like guns. Toy guns. Real guns. Imaginary guns. I grew up shooting guns. Toy guns. Real guns. Imaginary guns. I've not yet killed anyone. The lack of correlation between exposure to gun play as a child and violent behavior as an adult is so flamingly obvious that I can't help but believe that people like this mother are being willfully obtuse as part of some larger, philosophical denial of reality.

This past Christmas I wanted to buy my son his first real toy guns. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find toy guns these days? When I was a kid, they were a toy store staple. And not just fake plastic guns. I'm talking BB and pellet guns. A ten-year-old could walk into the local K-Mart and walk out with a geniune weapon. Now, it is quite literally easier and more convenient to shop for and buy hardcore porn and sex toys than it is to find toy guns. Don't ask me how I know that.

In the process of living out their irrational fantasies about human nature, people like "Nonviolent in the Midwest" make my life significantly more difficult than it needs to be, and for that I cast a stern, disapproving glare in her general direction.

Hall Monitor Journalism: A Case Study

I absolutely cannot stand the hall monitor journalism so common in local news coverage these days. If you've ever watched your local news, you've seen it. Some execrable little careerist goes around picking local scabs, looking for something to get outraged, OUTRAGED!, about and looking for some poor schmuck to embarrass on-camera in an attempt to assign blame.

Here's an example from my neck of the woods that I found particularly irritating. In it, intrepid reporter Lane McGregory goes around documenting the scandalous lack of enforcement of Florida's anti-fireworks regulations. The majority of this terribly over-long article documents the reporter's tenacious drive to get someone, anyone, in trouble for not enforcing a collection of nanny-state regulations that have absolutely no public support.

He seems to have great difficulty getting anyone to take him seriously, which is fun. Having read the article shortly after returning from a trip with my kids to buy lots of cool things that go BOOM! for the upcoming holiday, it was nice to know that I wasn't just hallucinating those crowded tents full of people like myself decidedly unconcerned about the lack of stern enforcement in this one dark corner of our declining civilization.

From the article:

In Pinellas County, 25 to 50 people are hurt by fireworks every Independence Day. Most of the injured aren't lighting the fuses. They're watching -- often children.

Twenty-five to fifty! Hurt! In Pinellas County (population around 1.5 million) alone! OUTRAGEOUS! Who's to blame?!

It's not the mere existence of idiot journalists like this that bothers me. It's the fact that idiot journalists like this often pressure idiot local politicians into doing things like passing anti-fireworks ordinances that threaten to put quite a crimp in my fire- and concussion-loving style. Bah!

50 Reasons Why It's Good to Be an American Man

This list is largely inane, but I couldn't let the opportunity pass to second this emotion:

19. The Food Network's Giada De Laurentiis. Specifically, her plunging necklines and the placement of her oven so that she has to lean over at least a dozen times per show.

She has a rather enormous head, proportionally, but yes. Just, yes.

Happy Birthday, Canada! You Magnificent Bastard!

This headline from Fark made me laugh:

America Jr. is 139 years old today. Happy Birthday Canada, you gay-loving, dope-smoking, gun-hating, no-Iraqing, funny talking, universal healthcaring, magnificent bastard

And the best quote from the accompanying thread, from a self-described "Proud Canadian/Quebecer":

I like to think of Canada as America's hat.

My attitude toward Canada ranges from casual indifference to utter contempt depending on how insufferably self-righteous they're being at any given moment. Canada often seems to me to be France without the confidence. Which, to be clear, is not anything remotely resembling a compliment. But they are what they are and God love 'em. They haven't done anything to piss me off today and I'm still basking in the glow of the second straight Stanley Cup triumph of a US team from the South over a Canadian team. So happy birthday, Canada. You magnificent bastard!